What Makes a Bovine Sexy?


Last night the Bull took me out on a date. We spent most of our night talking about this exact topic. As Shanny pointed out on my first post about this Is There Such a Thing as a Sexy Bovine?  being sexy is not about sex.  Lots of not sexy people are having sex all the time and a lot of them are video taping it and posting it online.  No, this is not what the Bull and I did on our date…. but I have a 13 year old male calf so sadly I have been exposed to some of these videos when checking his computer history.  Yes, we have net nanny now.  But back to the topic on hand.  Being sexy has nothing to do with sex.  Sexy is an attitude, a state of mind. As Shanny said sexy is being confident and sure.

The Bull mentioned Queen Latifah – she is not slim, but she is very sexy.   What is it about Queen Latifah that makes her so sexy? The answer that we came to is that she owns it. She is proud, confident, and unapologetic.  I know, I know, it doesn’t hurt that she probably has a stylist, make up artist and hair person helping her along.  But my bet is she’d be sexy without the help because she feels it, she knows she’s sexy.

I think one of the major problems with us bigger girls is we feel apologetic for our very existence. We want to just hide in a corner and hope no one notices us. We are humiliated in public and we don’t fight back. If someone called Queen Latifah a heifer in public what do you think she’d do? Me, I’d probably wipe away the tears and quickly walk away and try to hide. The Queen would most likely tell them why in fact they were wrong. She may even swing a fist. What she wouldn’t do is runaway or apologize for taking up space or for breathing slim folks air.  Because she carries herself the way she does, my bet is no one would even call her a name in the first place.

Okay so here is the big question. How do those of us that don’t own it, learn to? How do we become proud, confident, and unapologetic? When do we stop apologizing for existing and accept the fact that the world is a better place because we are in it?

Since I don’t know what else to do, I am going to start with some affirmations.  When I wake up I am going to tell myself, “I am sexy, I am strong, the world is a better place because I am here.”  I am going to hang this on my bathroom mirror and try to remind myself this throughout the day.

I am also going to start caring more about my appearance.  I have to admit because I work from home I wear sweats and t-shirts most days and I rarely put on make up.   I always tell myself when I’m thinner I’ll spend more time on my appearance.  Right now I feel so fat and ugly anyway it feels like no matter what I do I won’t look good.  That is wrong.  Queen Latifah looks gorgeous.  I bet if I dressed a bit better (even if I just buy a few stylin’ sweat suits), put on a little eye make up and brushed my hair, I’d feel sexier.  I’d certainly feel prouder of my appearance, which I think would make me more confident which would maybe, possibly result in feeling sexy???

The last thing I am going to do is get back into a good fitness routine.  I have always felt better and more attractive when I work out consistently.  When I feel strong and powerful, I tend to like my body more, even when it jiggles alot.  I am guessing that if I liked my body more, I’d be more able to convince myself I’m sexy.

So there you have it…this Bovine’s guide to feeling sexy:

1.   Tell yourself you are all day long so that at some point you start to believe it.

2.  Put some effort into your appearance so that you feel better about how you look RIGHT NOW.  (Don’t be like me and wait until you feel you are worth it…you are worth it right now!)

3.  Work out, to whatever your level is, consistently.  As your body feels stronger, you will like it more.  When you like it more, you will feel better about it and dare I say maybe even sexy!

Own it! Be proud, confident, and unapologetic!  The world really is a better place because you are in it!

M O O,

The Very Sexy, Proud, Confident and Unapologetic Inner Bovine

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One Comment on “What Makes a Bovine Sexy?”


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