Is There Such a Thing as a Sexy Bovine?

I just read a very interesting post on All The Weigh asking the question Can Obesity Be Sexy? There were over 30 comments at the time I read the post and almost all of them were written by women who said they do not feel sexy at their weight. The weight spectrum ranged all over the place but the feelings were the same: overweight women as a general rule do not feel sexy.

I wrote the following comment:
“I have fought my weight my entire life except apparently when I was an underweight toddler but I don’t remember those days. I stopped eating for a good chunk of my early 20s and was a size 8-10 when I got married. On the day of my wedding I was at my all time thinnest (have not been that weight since – a very healthy 145) was in an amazing dress, had my hair and make up done professionally, had a roomful of people telling me how gorgeous I looked and you know what? I still felt fat and unattractive….not even remotely sexy…I look back at the pictures and I just cringe at the thought of how I didn’t appreciate just how attractive I was. I should have been walking around in heels and a swimsuit flaunting my stuff, instead of feeling like a fat bovine…I didn’t even let my husband pick me up for that picture they always get of the groom carrying the bride over the threshold….I thought I was too heavy and that he would collapse under my weight.

I don’t remember if I have ever felt sexy. I have felt cute (most days), empowered (child birth), strong (finishing the 40 mile Avon walk) but never ever sexy. So I think it must be a state of mind. I am going to have to agree with most men; size doesn’t matter. If you feel/truly believe you are sexy, no matter what your size, you will be.”

It makes me so sad that we are so hard on ourselves. We hold ourselves back, limit our happiness and at least to a certain extent allow our perception of our size define us. At least I do. Yes, I am more than a Bovine. I am a mom, a wife, an attorney (believe it or not I actually have a day job) and a good friend but I do not focus on those things. I am not blogging about those things. Nope. I’m blogging about my mostly unsuccessful attempts at weightlloss. My focus is losing weight and I’ll be honest, it is not because I am worried about my health…I should be….but really at the end of the day, I want to lose weight because I want to look good.

Should I wait until I have met my goal weight to start to feel good about myself and dare I say sexy? I don’t think so. I’d like to start feeling at least a little sexier today. I want to work on this now and not wait until I am at my goal weight (as your guess is as good as mine whether or not I’ll ever get there).

This leaves me with the question, how does one begin to feel/believe they are sexy? I am going to think about this and post when I have some answers…but in the meantime I’m open to suggestions.

M O O,

My Inner Bovine


5 Comments on “Is There Such a Thing as a Sexy Bovine?”

  1. Cat says:

    Great post. I think feeling sexy is not only KNOWING our awesomeness, but BELIEVING it as well. We often tell ourselves that we are smart, funny, good mothers, talented, cute, etc, but how often to we tell ourselves we’re sexy? Do we even give ourselves permission to feel that way, or do we subconsciously consider that as some lofty classification only reserved for the likes of Megan Fox and Jessica Alba? We have given ourselves permission to be talented, funny, intelligent, but it’s high time we take a piece of the sexy pie. I asked my husband about this topic, and part of his answer was very eye opening: “Sexy isn’t so much in the looks. Sexy is in the attitude.”

  2. I really think sexy is something I may not ever feel. But beautiful is something I do feel. The more that I work on my relationship with my heavenly Father, the more I see me the way He sees me. Beautiful!!!! And you are too! If I never lose the extra weight, I am still beautiful!

  3. Kenlie says:

    It sounds like this topic affects a lot of us…not just me. I’m happy to see that you’ve expounded here, and I can’t wait for you to share some answers as to how we go about feeling sexy.
    Cat raised an interesting point…Do we allow ourselves to feel sexy? No, I can’t say that I do….I’ll start trying and see how it goes…
    Thanks for being a part of the blogosphere!

  4. Shanny says:

    Hi! I’m not sure what defines sexy for ourselves…..if you’re referring to always, not just when you’re in undies, prancing around. I had to think of when I think my spouse is sexy. For me it’s when he’s got his hands dirty fixing something, when he scrapes snow off my car for me, when he explains confusing political issues to me. Nothing whatsoever to do with sex. Nothing.

    So if I perceive him to be sexy at random, non sexual times, then by default I should assume he perceives me to be sexy when I’m fully dressed?

    Then I realized that I find him sexy and most attractive when he’s in his element, confident and sure. And that’s when I FEEL the most sexy, when I’m confident & sure. When I know I’m well put together or when I give a good argument for something I believe in. When I have my shoulders back and my head high.

    Sexual has nothing to do with sexy…..I think then that someone at any size can be sexy. But is “obesity” sexy? Probably not….. but an obese woman sure can be.

  5. […] most of our night talking about this exact topic. As Shanny pointed out on my first post about this Is There Such a Thing as a Sexy Bovine?  being sexy is not about sex.  Lots of not sexy people are having sex all the time and a lot of […]

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