Is There Such a Thing as a Sexy Bovine?Posted: January 5, 2012
I just read a very interesting post on All The Weigh asking the question Can Obesity Be Sexy? There were over 30 comments at the time I read the post and almost all of them were written by women who said they do not feel sexy at their weight. The weight spectrum ranged all over the place but the feelings were the same: overweight women as a general rule do not feel sexy.
I wrote the following comment:
“I have fought my weight my entire life except apparently when I was an underweight toddler but I don’t remember those days. I stopped eating for a good chunk of my early 20s and was a size 8-10 when I got married. On the day of my wedding I was at my all time thinnest (have not been that weight since – a very healthy 145) was in an amazing dress, had my hair and make up done professionally, had a roomful of people telling me how gorgeous I looked and you know what? I still felt fat and unattractive….not even remotely sexy…I look back at the pictures and I just cringe at the thought of how I didn’t appreciate just how attractive I was. I should have been walking around in heels and a swimsuit flaunting my stuff, instead of feeling like a fat bovine…I didn’t even let my husband pick me up for that picture they always get of the groom carrying the bride over the threshold….I thought I was too heavy and that he would collapse under my weight.
I don’t remember if I have ever felt sexy. I have felt cute (most days), empowered (child birth), strong (finishing the 40 mile Avon walk) but never ever sexy. So I think it must be a state of mind. I am going to have to agree with most men; size doesn’t matter. If you feel/truly believe you are sexy, no matter what your size, you will be.”
It makes me so sad that we are so hard on ourselves. We hold ourselves back, limit our happiness and at least to a certain extent allow our perception of our size define us. At least I do. Yes, I am more than a Bovine. I am a mom, a wife, an attorney (believe it or not I actually have a day job) and a good friend but I do not focus on those things. I am not blogging about those things. Nope. I’m blogging about my mostly unsuccessful attempts at weightlloss. My focus is losing weight and I’ll be honest, it is not because I am worried about my health…I should be….but really at the end of the day, I want to lose weight because I want to look good.
Should I wait until I have met my goal weight to start to feel good about myself and dare I say sexy? I don’t think so. I’d like to start feeling at least a little sexier today. I want to work on this now and not wait until I am at my goal weight (as your guess is as good as mine whether or not I’ll ever get there).
This leaves me with the question, how does one begin to feel/believe they are sexy? I am going to think about this and post when I have some answers…but in the meantime I’m open to suggestions.
M O O,
My Inner Bovine