The Great Bovine’s Shake Surprise.Posted: November 5, 2011
Yesterday was quite a day. I got up. Ate or drank nary a thing because I had my Weight Watchers weigh in at 9:00 a.m. My weigh-in went fairly well with a whopping .4 pds loss. It’s not great but honestly the fact that I made it through Halloween at a loss is downright miraculous.
After my successful weigh-in, I picked up one of my besties to go yard sale shopping. This bestie is a recovering Bovine we shall call Bessie. Bestie Bessie has been making great progress on her weight loss journey and is a huge fan of Nutralife shakes and supplements. Because I hadn’t eaten before arriving at her stable, she offered to make me a shake. Because I am a Bovine, I never turn any kind of shake away.
This particular Nutralife shake was delicious. It tasted like cake batter and had sprinkles in it for that extra festive feel. I gobbled my down while we drove to a nearby neighborhood yard sale. About 10 minutes after I finished my shake I started feeling like I needed a bathroom but we were yard saleing and I didn’t want to tell Bestie Bessie that we had to run home so I could use the loo. We might miss a good bargain. It is not everyday that you can find a light up yard flamingo for $4. So, I said nothing and suffered silently hoping the urge would pass. Another 10 minutes elapsed and I was beginning to get concerned. The urge was not passing and was in fact become more, well…urgent. A few minutes later I found myself yelling at Bestie Bessie across a large stack of chipped kitchen ware….”In the car …NOW!!!”
The look on my face must have said it all because Bestie Bessie did not ask a thing and just made a beeline for the car. All I could think of as I hit the gas, was the scene in the Bridesmaids movie…if you’ve seen the movie you know exactly what I’m talking about…I was silent, Bessie was nervously mooing on and on about her great finds. I didn’t hear a word of it as I was just focused on not losing my bowels all over the car… When we arrived roughly 3 minutes later to my door, I ran in the house at full speed, threw off my coat while sprinting to the bathroom and made it, literally without a second to spare.
After given Bessie a lot of grief for giving this unsuspecting Bovine an unsolicited colon cleanse, we returned to our yard sale endeavors and enjoyed the rest of the morning…never wandering more than a 5 minute drive from my front door.
Here is what I learned from the Great Bovine’s Shake Surprise.
1. If you are going to try a Nutralife shake for the first time, save yourself and stay within arms length of a bathroom for a solid hour at least.
2. Drink such a shake a solid hour BEFORE weighing in. I bet I would have lost at least 3 pounds had I weighed in AFTER the shake.
3. Do not accept beverages from Bestie Bessie without reading all warning labels first.